Emotion Based School Avoidance

At the start of another school year, my thoughts are with the families (including my own) navigating the wobbles that can accompany returning to the school routine after an extended break.

Apprehension over a step-up in learning challenges and expectations, new teachers, changes in classmates, shifted sleep routines and general adjustment can be the source of anxiety and overwhelm in varying degrees.

Emotionally based school avoidance (ESBA), also known as school refusal or “school can’t”, is a growing challenge in Australian schools, with profound impacts on students, families, and educators.

At its core, ESBA is an indication that something about school feels unmanageable for the student.

How it Presents

·         Distress before attending school (crying, yelling)

·         Health complaints – stomach aches, headaches, dizziness, fatigue

·         Anger, aggression or shutdown

·         Leaving school early

·         Repeated requests to go home from school

·         Skipping classes

·         Repeated absenteeism

·         Frequent lateness to school

·         Difficulty falling asleep the night before school

If you are noticing these behaviours in your child, it’s important to speak to a GP. They will be able to work with you to rule out any health issues that may be causing these symptoms and suggest management and support options.

What Causes ESBA?

The reasons are complex and vary depending upon the individual.

Potential factors could include:

·         Anxiety/panic

·         Fear of separation

·         Exhaustion from coping

·         Bullying/peer rejection

·         Learning difficulties/unmet needs

·         Sensory overload

·         Low self-esteem

·         Exhaustion from coping

·         Feeling unsafe or not believed

·         Trauma/past negative school experiences

·         Fear of failure or getting things wrong

What Can I Do?

Parents and caregivers navigating ESBA often worry that interruptions to schooling and social development may affect their child’s ability to reach their full potential and shape future opportunities. They’re often faced with the dilemma of being more forceful in making their child attend school, or more empathetic and allowing them to stay at home. The practical considerations of having to take time off work or reduce your hours can also impact the family’s finances and wellbeing significantly. 

This is not a challenge you need to face alone as a family, and schools are well placed to work collaboratively with you and external agencies as necessary to work towards the best outcome.

1.    Contact your child’s school. Pastoral care staff are available to work with you to identify the factors contributing to school avoidance and co-create an individualised plan to address it. Management plans could include:

-          Regular meetings with pastoral care staff

-          Assessment and management by a school psychologist

-          Shared lesson plans to help them keep up at home

-          Modified participation in high-pressure activities (e.g. public speaking, assessments)

-          Advance notice of changes happening that may influence anxiety (e.g. if there is a substitute teacher)

-          A gradual return to school plan, such as returning to school for a couple of hours initially, before slowly increasing the amount of time they spend there.

-          Offering modified curriculum, reduced homework, or extra tuition.

-          Offering a venue for a ‘soft start’ to the day, or when a time out is needed.

2.    Create predictable routines at home

-          Keep consistent wake-up, meal and bedtime routines, even on weekends.

-          When your child is home from school, assist them in creating a routine similar to that of the school day. Restrict use of entertainment and device to reduce the value of the home environment.

-          Prepare school bags, uniforms and lunches the night before to reduce morning stress.

3.    Validate their feelings

-          Focus on listening and understanding when your child talks about their concerns.

-          Name and validate feelings (without judging or problem-solving) (e.g. “Being at school feels so uncomfortable at the moment, it makes sense you don’t want to put yourself in that position”).

4.    Stay calm and consistent

-          Avoid prolonged negotiations in the morning

-          Maintain the expectation of school attendance, while being supportive.

5.    Build positive associations

-          Plan enjoyable after-school activities as motivation

-          Celebrate small successes with praise or a simple reward

6.    Use relaxation and coping tools

-          Breathing exercises, mindfulness apps, or listening to music.

-          Encourage healthy habits: sleep, nutrition and exercise.

7.    Seek further support

-          Depending on the factors contributing to school avoidance, different support options could be helpful. Psychometric assessment could identify learning difficulties or neurodivergence. With greater clarity around what’s operating below the surface, more appropriate accommodations can be made to facilitate progress.

Our understanding of neurodiversity, learning styles, cognitive profiles and mental health continues to develop and advance. The technological landscape our children are growing up is ever-evolving. It makes complete sense to acknowledge that a rigid, one-size-fits all school system is not going to suit all brains, minds, personalities and bodies.

By taking reasonable steps to adapt the school environment for our young people, we are honouring their individuality and value and committing to protecting diversity and inclusion.